"Hung Jury"
Claire: You can't get me down, Trevor. I am full of Christmas spirit."
Trevor: "You are *so* full of it.
Champ: "I'm only doing this for the money."
Trevor: "The man who put the "ho" back in ho-ho-ho."
Clark: "What's that smell?"
Trevor: "Oldspice, menthol cigarettes, squeezee-cheese, sweat, spermicide, shame, despair, tears, rage, a bit of urine... and something really disgusting."
Claire: "I know it was you.
Trevor: "Lois... (pulls off Claire's glasses, puts them on) how did you penetrate my tremendous disguise?"
Trevor: "We all have to make sacrifices in the aid of love." (Claire struggles to open the door, Trevor pounds once, the door opens)
Claire: "How about a human sacrifice -- say you?"
Trevor: "I'm a god, I don't qualify. If we were talking super-human sacrifices, I'm your guy.
Trevor: "Umm-hmm. Well seeing as we're supposed to double up, it is the law of physics that a man and a woman take up less space than two men."
Theresa: "Hmm, well, I think that depends on how you line up the nooks and th crannies."
Trevor: "Hmm-hmm. I think you put the nooks on this side and the crannies on that side."
Claire: "I don't think 'cranny' means what you think it means."
Theresa: "It's the same as nook."
Clark: "No. A nook is a very small opening. A cranny is an even smaller opening."
Theresa: "Trust Mr. Tightbut to be the expert on very small openings."
Trevor: "What do you think, Claire?
Claire: "Why are you asking me?"
Trevor: "I'm asking you because you're a professional mind-peeper with profound insights into the human psyche as manifest by their outward manifesticles."
Claire: "Make sure you se t the alarm, please."
Trevor: (quietly) "No problem."
Claire: "Aaah! Trevor!"
Trevor: "What?! ...What? What?"
Claire: "Just.. What, yo-you took my continents, and now you've come to pillage?! Get out of here!"
Trevor: "Ah, god -- Lookit, the NATO delegates over there a jabbering on about their favourite abstract industrialists or whatever. I've gotta crash..."
Claire: "You can't sleep here... Okay, you know what? Wait a minute. I'm not even going to talk to you until you put your shirt on!"
Trevor: "Ah, look at that... All right... Puritanical... (talking over each other)
Claire: "Just put it on. Put your shirt on. Put your shirt on. Lemme know. Lemme know..."
Trevor: "Oh-Kay."
Claire: "Thank-you."
Claire: "Trevor, you can't sleep here. (long pause) Okay, fine. I'll take the floor."
Trevor: "No, no one's going to take the floor. We're just sharing a bed, it's no big deal."
Claire: "Oh, and there they are."
Trevor: "What?"
Claire: "The last words I heard before I lost my license, 'Really Doc, it's no big deal.'"
Trevor: "I have two comments here."
Claire: "Ah, only two. Well, I'll consider that my Christmas gift."
Trevor: "Number one: When did we decide that anything was going to..."
Claire: "Happen?"
Trevor: "Like what?"
Claire: "Stop."
Trevor: "Number two: Head to toe. What does that prevent? All the interlocking parts are still aligned."
Clair: "Okay stop it. You floor or me floor. Pick."
Claire: "Trevor, just... Just show me one Christmas miracle. (Trevor begins to life his shirt) Noo! Hey! Hey! Just sleep. Without tormenting, or-or baiting, or challenging me. Okay, can you do that? Okay?"
Trevor: "Okay."