"A Truly Fractured Fairy Tale"

Trevor: "Must be heavy." Claire: "What?" Trevor: "Carrying that soapbox around with you." Claire: "Actually, it's called a degree -- and it's why I'm the one sitting in the chair."

Claire: "Why do you always know where to find me?" Trevor: "Kind'a eerie isn't it, almost god-like. Speaking of things religious -- you, sweatpants, out in public. Isn't that the 7th sign of the Apocalypse?"

Trevor: "Are you saying that there is no possible way these two will ever hit it off?" Claire: "I'm saying the odds of a man she's only seen in a billboard having everything she wants in a relationship are roughly similar to the odds of being dragged from your living-room by a pack of wild dogs." Trevor: "All those words and you did not take a breath. Is it true what you can tell about a woman by the length of her sentences?" Claire: "...Is that your cab?"

Trevor: "Excuse me, but whatever crawled up your butt is unusually large today."

Trevor: Yeah, well that's me -- I put the 'screw' in scrupulous."

Claire: "I have no intention of discussing my personal life with you." Trevor: "I'm just happy that you *have* a personal life. I thought you were making a beeline to the multiple cat purchses." Claire: "Leave it alone Trevor." Trevor: "I can tell by your face you really like it, this guy rattles your cage, kibbles your bits, sauces your--" Claire: "I have fired my warning shot!" Trevor: "Gotch'a, we'll talk about it later."

Claire: "...don't sneak up on my like that." Trevor: "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a proper way to sneak up on you?"

Claire: "I think I hear my phone..." Trevor: "I doubt it, unless it rings on dog frequencies. Here it is -- Where were we?" Claire: "At wit's end." Trevor: "Uh-huh."